Me: “Hi Sweetie.”
Leil: “Hi Mom.”
Me: “Do you think your Mom is weird.”
Leil: “Uhh…no. Why?”
Me: “Because I’m standing on a log taking a picture of my new slippers.”
Leil: “Oh no, I don’t think that’s weird.”
Greg told me the other day that he thought our girls were incredibly lucky to have a Mom like me. He thinks me pursuing my personal dreams amongst the chaos of family life sets a positive example. Ever since I left the corporate realm I’ve questioned my status as strong-woman role model to my girls. My ever present feminist vs. nurturing stay-at-home mom tug of war. I know they can co-exist but finding the balance and defining the feminist side as I do laundry, cook dinner and clean the house (ok, you know I’m stretching it with that one) is a constant struggle.
When the girls arrived on the scene I tried to continue having it all. That didn’t last long. About 3 years to be exact. I left my career after Leil was born. Caitlin got the short end of my ‘I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan’ stick, sorry honey. I’ve been figuring it out ever since. I’m still not sure where taking pictures of my new slippers on a log in my front yard fits into the feminist movement but I think it’s there somewhere.
I attended a birthday party for a good friend last night. One of those ‘new’ good friends. The kind you’ve only known for a year but feel like you’ve known your whole life. It was a 40th bash. A celebration of the beginning of the next half. There were more than a few drunken tears shed. A little mourning for what’s past, choices made, paths not taken.
These were the presents I chose. A bottle of champagne wrapped in a sack I made in my serger class and a calender by Washington artist Nikki McClure. Her website describes her work the best: “Armed with an X-acto knife, she cuts out her images from a single sheet of paper and creates a bold language that translates the complex poetry of motherhood, nature, and activism into a simple and endearing picture.”
Enjoy the weekend. Remember to do something just for yourself.
I love the slippers! And there’s nothing non-feminist about taking pictures of your feet in the woods
Balancing is hard work, but denying the “nurture” side for corporate life is just as damaging as denying our “corporate side” for the nurture — we’re both and either in extreme is damaging….
Dang. Either you’re living my life, or I’m living yours. I left active duty almost exactly a year ago. I know what you’re going through.
Wonderful. I’m not sure there is an answer but it is worth the seeking anyway.
I’m here, avoiding sleep…where i will spend hours mulling over the whole ‘role model’ thing, and i find your postand it made me smile. my daughter KNOWS i’m weird but would say i wasn’t to reassure me! I’m going to go and read the rest of your blog now….
Believe me, as a girl who grew up with a mom who never worked, we never thought less of her. In fact, it was very nice to always have her there and doing things for us. I mentioned before that she was our girl scout leader for years and years. I always knew that it was her choice to have 6 kids and stay home with us… and that certainly didn’t mean she didn’t work. I think it’s great to show kids that they don’t HAVE to follow the regular path. That they can find something they love and do it to earn a living…being creative!
PS: Love the shoes…don’t visit or you might see their twins on my feet!
I love the slippers! Do tell where you found them, please? I think just following your heart is the very best roll model for all children. I’m glad my kids can see me taking the time to express myself creatively around, between and through all the other things I do.
I let out a gasp when I saw your slippers. I thought you were going to say you made them yourself!–and I wouldn’t put it past you
They’re beautiful. I think your appreciation for beauty and your creativity are wonderful things to model to your children. I find myself second guessing the stay at home mom thing all the time, but I know this time is fleeting and deep down I know I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. As Oprah says (what am I doing quoting Oprah????), “We can have it all, we just can’t have it all at the same time.”
very beautiful slippers, indeed! and it´s not weird to take pictures of your feet. as long as it´s your own feet…
i especially like the “the time is NOW” calendar (it is a calendar, right?) – it´s just so true… and in spite of it, there always will be THE time or THE chance passing by, unused and untaken. *sigh*
a thoughtful present.
my mom worked all day (neccessarily), but i can´t say that i missed anything. our grandparents lived down the street, so i was one of the lucky children that were played with and taken care of all the day. when my mom and dad came home they were there for me and my sister – no housework, no “go somewhere and play, i need to get this done first”. i don´t think a working mother is worse than a non-working one, so no bad conscience! surely your caitlin doesn´t feel like having had the short end of that named stick.
I’m also a stay-at-home-mom. Before this I studied economics and had a nine-year career at various companies as a financial and management accountant. Then my son was born, then I had a cancer treatment (but not with chemo) and then my daughter was born. I enjoy that I still have a life and I decided to stay at home and help my kids grow. One mom told me that I’m wasting my time and talent to raise my kids by myself instead of having a career. I can tell you that I’m more relaxed than she is and I enjoy my life more than she does. And I don’t think that raising and helping the kids to find they place in the world is time and talent wasted. My time and talent is working at the most important people in my life. Okay, I admitt, that this only works when you can financially afford it or try to balance your needs and belongings with the money that is coming in. And I definitly don’t need a portable DVD-player for my car and I don’t need five times a year holidays at expensive places and hotels with 5 stars.
Photograping your slippers (which I love by the way) is a blog thing. Thank goodness our girls get that !! By the way tell them Chloe says hello. Clarice
Cool slippers – thank goodness you took a picture of them.. lol..
And no, we´re not crazy, at least not unbearably..
I quit medschool for my older kids and 95 % of the time I´m ok with not becoming a doctor. Instead I chose to work 20 hours a week in clinical research for alot less money but with pretty adjustable hours so I´m able to see patients and still pick up the younger ones from Preschool, Kindergarten or Omi´s (grandma´s) at 14:00 (2 p.m. for the not miltary people.. lol) and you know what? I am convinced it paid off. The oldest daughter is in the Navy doing good, the next kid is going to graduate High School this year and seems to be a happy and healthy young man, both drug and drama free – what more can I ask for? It believe it made such a difference that there was someone there when they came home from school and in continuing to stay in medicine just with altered goals showed them that you can change your path even if you thought it was engraved in stone and be happy. Hope you notice I didn´t write that our house is being cleaned alot and their laundry is always done.. grin grin.. that will never be one of my priorities though! lol.. the 3 monsters still left in the house don´t seem to mind though
I think there are alot more women who have traded in their careers for something much more promising – making sure there are more happy and healthy kids to grow up to be loving, caring, responsible adults!
So yup, keep on doing what you´re doing, it looks excellent my book..and yes, I initially thought you made the slippers yourself, too and thought “gosh, is there anything she CAN´T do? they´re simply gorgous” lol..
Thoughtful post. I often consider the same thing myself, having done the corporate thing and being born in the era of the women’s movement where we were supposed to do it all. I guess we all do the best we can.
Love the slippers.
I think the feminism in slipper photography falls on the spectrum just to the left of the resurgence of wearing beautiful aprons. Or, at least, my spectrum. A higher value being place on traditional woman’s work — whether it is done as a drudging chore or as a spirt-lifting hobby. Am I making sense only to myself here?
I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom — until it was “time” to go back to work after Bea was born and I realized I couldn’t stop holding her. I must say since then I have had not one regret.
man, those slippers are wonderful… i might just have to get the red version.
…saw those slippers on Garnet hill- love them! I stayed home with our 4 kids – now have 4 grandkids- it is sooooooooooooooooo worth it- they kept me delightfully busy and they turned out delightful! The years go soooooo fast, believe me- I can remember when I had kids all underfoot- and now, now they are gone…….
great great post, and beeeeautiful slippers! I think we all are looking for balance, in one way or another. I don’t know if we ever will find it entirely, but bit by bit some of it will be found I think!
So glad you did stand on the log and photograph the slippers!